Had a long day in the surgery center this morning as my middle daughter needed to have her ACL repaired in her knee. I think the word the orthopedic doc used to describe her ACL was "mop ends." Not a good thing. Needed to take a graft from another part of her leg in order to fashion a replacement ACL.
Anyway, after getting up at 4:30 a.m. (had to be in the office by 6:00), and not returning home until about 2:00, with limited nutrition and lots of caffeine, I made the mistake of discovering the top 10 things NOT to say to your daughter after she has surgery.
1. Don't worry, your boyfriend likes you for who you are, not what you look like.
2. Do you want to take the stool softener before or after you eat some food.
3. The nurse said you did a good job keeping all of your vomit in the container she provided.
4. Well, you might have to wear stockings over those scars for the rest of your life.
5. We should adopt a salad diet until you're able to exercise again so you don't put on any weight.
6. Your pain is not as bad as you think it is, it's a figment of your imagination.
7. The doctor said you were pretty quiet during the operation, only something about Justin Beiber's boxer shorts.
8. Sure, they say you can't see through those stupid gowns, but it doesn't matter because they take it off during surgery anyway.
9. Don't worry about the patient they just wheeled back to the recovery room, he had a different doctor than you.
10. A year from now, you won't even remember that you couldn't dance at your senior prom nor had to use crutches to get across the stage to get your diploma.
I never said I was the sharpest pencil in the box.
P.S. Don't forget to tell your daughter that you love her.
Classic! While this is every Dads nightmare, remmeber...just having you around as their friends gather at your home is their nightmare......I'm just pround of you that you refrained from mentioning the obvious life-long limp, refreained from using ANY reference to "Frankenstein"....and most of all...Refrained from making a siren noise as you wheeled her into the surgery center at 5:30 am! THIS is where I would have gone overboard!
ReplyDeleteAwww...ouch! Boy, talk about hitting some roadbumps in a conversation. I carefully rehearsed what not to say in this situation. Well, back to the man cave to think this one out!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget to mention, it's okay that you can't shave your legs for awhile, we will just call you little bear :) Seriously, I'm so glad to hear the surgery is over and she is on the road to recovery!!
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