Dads and the Secret Code

I love making my daughters laugh. I'm not talking about an occasional chuckle, like, 'hey Dad, that was kind of funny.' I'm talking about a full frontal belly roar, uncontrollable snorts...you get the picture. Except, for me, making my daughters laugh like that is difficult because no one's every confused me with Jeff Foxworthy. I don't possess the joke telling skills of Bill Cosby, so I'm relegated to watching re-runs of my personal favorite, Ron White. I sometimes have to change my shorts after I watch that guy. But I digress.

I picked up my middle daughter at basketball practice last night and halfway home I had her laughing so hard that she said her stomach and her sides hurt. It didn't take that much on my part. All I did was use one of her teenage slang sayings in response to a question she asked me.

She said, 'Dad, is there a good possibility that we have a delayed opening for school tomorrow (because of the weather forecast)?'

My response? Two slang words. Fo Show. Which, in teenage-speak means, For Sure for any of you who need the translation. It was my attempt at being cool. Of course, I haven't been cool, or at least considered myself cool since Ronald Reagan's second term as President. But the fact that I made my daughter laugh so hard was worth the lame attempt at Dad-coolness. Most times, those attempts to be cool in front of your daughter  end up being like the time in high school when you pulled up to pick up your date to go to the movies, only to have her mother tell you that she just left with someone else.

Of course, after my daughter stopped laughing, she asked me where I'd heard that expression. I had to admit that I'd heard it from her younger sister. Most times when there's a group of girls hanging out at the house, they speak freely, and while I'm not usually in the same room as are they, my Dad-radar is always on. Especially if boys are being discussed. Most times, the radar picks up something useful.

Now my youngest daughter has the exact opposite reaction when I use her slang language. She gets irritated with me because it's like I'm stealing her secret code. And this is what really gets her annoyed. Using her slang in the proper context!! Drives her bonkers. And I love it. Of course I know better than to take things too far.

But what's a Dad to do? I mean, honestly, how many times do we receive text messages from our daughters, and we stare at our cell phone, and we say WTH (What The Heck).

There's an abbreviation for everything, and NO ONE has given Dads the magic translator key. We're just supposed to know that BBIAF means Be Back in a Few. Why can't it mean, Buy Beer I'm At Foodstore? Or instead of TTYL meaning, Talk To You Later, why can't it mean, Too Tight Yell Louder. And how does MWAH translate to mean Kiss? Really? At least there's one translation Dads can always fall back on in self-defense. And it works equally as well with our wives as it does with our daughters. IAC, or I Am Confused.

P.S. Don't forget to tell you daughter you love her

P.S.S. Last week, Snooki was first on our list of Females We Don't Want Our Daughters to Be Like. Who's next on the list this week?