Snooki's First on the List

I don't know if this is going to be a Top Ten list or not, it might end up being longer than that. Certainly not shorter.

I think it's natural for kids to aspire to be like someone else. An athlete, a scientist, a lawyer (well, maybe not), an actor, a rock star, whatever.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be Julius Erving during basketball season, Jack Lambert during football season, and Nolan Ryan during baseball season. As I got a little bit older and began to really enjoy writing, Frank Deford was added to my hero list. Anyone too young to know who any of those guys are can certainly do a search to find out.

As I now have kids of my own, and have for sometime now, I've come to realize that my real hero all along was my Dad.

Nowadays, with the proliferation of all things having to do with the world wide web, the Internet, reality television, Facebook, My Space, etc., kids certainly have lots of choices of people who they might want to emulate. Most of those are horrendous choices, for various reasons.

So I'm going to make it my mission for however long it takes to develop a list, with a weekly post, about females that we DON'T want our daughters to be like.

This is in no particular order, but the first person that comes to mind, is Nicole Polizzi. Before you say, who's that? If I said Snooki, would that ring a bell? MTV's reality show Jersey Shore?

Some parents may view Snooki's reality television stardom as something to celebrate. After all, in this reality show era, many people say, 'hey, if she can do it, why not me?'

Here's a brief list of Snooki's attributes:
        
          a. She might be the least intelligent reality star of all time. Considering the rest of her Jersey Shore cast, I know that's saying something. Here's a few brainteasers from Snooki.
     On The Jay Leno Show last year, Snooki and two of her male cast mates were part of the Jaywalking All Star skit and the subject of the trivia game was, 'things you should have learned in school.'
     Snooki bravely stated these stunners: the United Nations is located in Albany, New York; the current vice president of the United States' last name is Krone; Dick Cheney's job involved trying to shoot former President Bush, and this gem...when former President Ronald Reagan told Mikhail Gorbachev to "tear down this wall," he was referring to a dam located in Denver. She also shared with Jay that she doesn't read books and her goal is to "change the world" by installing a tanning bed in everyone's home. Yep, that'll certainly change some things.

          b. She's a drunk. One of her top three goals in life is to drink as much as she can as often as she can. Now I realize that some men might find that attractive. Until they wake up the next morning. Last year she was arrested in Seaside Heights for drunk and disorderly. I grew up in Jersey and spent quite a bit of time in Seaside Heights. Getting arrested for that offense is difficult to accomplish. According to the New York Daily News she was so intoxicated on this particular occasion that she could not physically get herself up off of the beach. People had to turn her head to the side so she didn't suffocate herself in the sand. Then she had the class and dignity to launch into an expletive-laced tirade against the police officers who were trying to do their jobs without any fanfare.

           c. She's a...man hunter...I don't know what is the politically correct descriptive word to use here. If I were at the bar with the boys, I could use the word that's in my brain, but I'm not so I wont. Aside from drinking large quantities of alcohol, Snooki's other primary goal in life is to have sex with any man that will have her. That might take a few drinks on the part of the man. I mean, Snooki's not exactly in the running for the cover of Glamour magazine. But I digress.

Snooki has other qualities that we could address, but the bottom line is this. I hope that all Dads will want more for their daughters, and expect more FROM their daughters than to be an intellectually-challenged, drunk, man hunter.

Snooki recently garnered a major news story because, hold your breath, she's getting rid of the the pouf in her hair and is getting a whole new 'do. She said in that article that she wants people to take her seriously and that the pouf didn't match her career goals.

Considering that Snooki gave up a lucrative gig as a receptionist to do Jersey Shore (no pun intended), I'm reminded of an all-time classic line from one of my favorite movies, 'Animal House.'

As Dean Wormer stands in the midst of a disheveled living room in the Delta Fraternity house, gleefully reciting to each Delta brother what was his grade point average for the semester, he comes to the late John Belushi's character and he states, "Mr. Blutarski...zero, point, zero, zero. Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."

Please feel free to leave me some comments, or to leave me some suggestions about who you might put on this list.

P.S. Tell your daughter you love her.