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Friday, March 4, 2011

Friends with Benefits? Not at my house!

Some ideas just don't end well. No matter how well thought-out, no matter how reasonable or functional those ideas might seem at the minute of inspiration, it's just not going to turn out how it was planned.

Take for instance this craze known as Friends with Benefits. Or FWB to our sons and daughters. If you do a Google search, for example, and just type in Rules for Friends with Benefits, you'll get 2.85 million hits. NBC Television thought it was such a good idea they developed a half-hour comedy last spring titled, yes, you guessed it, "Friends with Benefits." Out-of-the-box creative folks at NBC, no wonder they're last in ratings.

It's such a popular topic that there have been not one, but two movies out of the left coast in less than a year. "No Strings Attached," was the original starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kucher. Funny because Kucher doesn't even know he's been Demi Moore's FWB for years now. Based on the smashing success of  "No Strings Attached" where it barely made enough money to pay the guys holding the cameras, "Friends with Benefits," starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake will premier in July.

If you're a lonely heart in search of a friend with benefits, there are plenty of websites to accommodate your needs. Many of them profess to be designed for married people who are looking for a little extra on the side.

Just in case some of you don't know what Friends with Benefits means, the definition is pretty simple. You have a friend. You are not romantically involved with her (or him), and are not supposed to have any romantic feelings for this person. The two of you simply have sex together whenever the mood strikes. No flowers and chocolates. No pillow talk. No dreaded discussion of 'feelings.' You get together, do your thing, and go your separate ways. Until the next time you want to do it. According to the one set of rules I looked at (for research purposes only), it is permissible to have at least two telephone conversations with your FWB during the week, since, after all, you are friends. But any more than that would most likely have your privileges revoked.

Now, I'm not going to pontificate about the moral ramifications, nor am I going to pass judgement. Plenty of folks have made the mistake of having what, back in the day, was called a one-nite stand. But I will say this. Fathers (and mothers) warn your sons. Should they ever try to entice one of my daughters to be an FWB, I will not hesitate to introduce him to the fat part of my 34-ounce Louisville slugger. My house, my rules.

P.S. Don't forget to tell your daughter that you love her.

1 comment:

  1. I kept a slightly bigger bat for better follow-through. The FWB concept seems to forget all of the damage done by STD's - on the global population.

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